It's part of my desire to "parent" intentionally, or like I mean it. After talking with a friend the other night, I realized just how much more I need to and could do. Being "the" mom is more than making sure they have a lunch, get to bed on time, making sure they are fed, have their homework done, etc. It is making time for them in ALL aspects and not letting someone else lead them.
A friend and I were discussing our kids' Christian education the other night. And she opened my eyes (though in my heart I knew I was not very good at it) to the fact that I LET school and church take the lead in directing my kids and their faith. Sure the kids and I have discussions about God and His working in the world, but I hardly ever really sit down with them to read scripture, let alone memorize it. For us getting through a meal is sometimes a challenge in itself. Keeping them at the table for another 10-15 minutes to read devotions might be torture on all of us. I know, I know this sounds awful. Mind you we still have Bible bedtime stories. And the kids hate it when we talk about foregoing it on a certain night because of the late hour or if they had fallen alseep before the reading could be done. But when my oldest learned to read, my husband and I let him take over the evening bedtime Bible story reading to his siblings. The other kids tended to listen to him more and there was less raucous behavior without us in the room. It was also cool to just stand outside the door to watch and listen to him lead prayers. Besides the cursory "Now I lay me..", the kids began to really include their own thoughts and petitions for others.
As my kids age I know they need more than just an evening Bible story though to really grow their faith. Like most things in my life, I often do not know where to begin. The kids are given verses to memorize in school, and apparently the kids are doing well with them as their teachers have given them good marks since they started school. But have I REALLY gone over them with the kids, except to ask them "Do you have your Bible memory learned?" And how in the world do I do that with multiple kids and mulitple verses? And when? I can barely help each with homework, let alone settling down for some heartfelt memorization and explanation about Bible verses. I just started going over spelling words with my oldest two children, how can I fit Bible memory into those short hours between when they get home and bedtime along with supper and baths?
Now I'll admit I felt guilt and admiration when my friend told me what she now does with kids. They make it a part of the family devotions at night after supper. They read the Bible and then go over each child's verse for the week. So each child is not only learning their own verse, but also their siblings' verses. And everybody gets help learning them whether they want that help or not. My friend then went on to say that the practice worked out well until she realized that the kids are not in school each week. It was then that she picked out verses for the weeks the kids were not in school. Here is where the guilt set in for me... we do not do after supper devotions, let alone learn the kids' memory work with them. Talk about feeling like a lousy parent.
But at the same time, I have hope. This is my starting point... a chance to bring my children closer to our Maker and a faith firmly grounded in Him. Maybe now (starting tonight) we make the time to learn about God together and grow in faith and love.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
When in the race called LIFE...
It occurred to me recently that the life I lead in Christ is not that unlike a road race. And while I have only run in two road races, they both had at least one thing in common... I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of where I was going, but I knew the finish line was at the end. Before the races started, I consulted as much info online about the races, including studying the the maps provided by the race directors. And while they looked "reasonable", I was still clueless as to what the areas surrounding the streets looked like. My biggest fear in running the races was that I would make a wrong turn along the way and become completely lost or become disqualified for my "stupidity".
The directors promised lots of road signs (mile markers, arrows, even painted on trails if need be), countless spectators cheering me on and medical help should I need it. But I was still unsure... would it all be enough? All those things are well and good, but there is always a "mis-step". I read about a young woman once who signed up and trained to run in a 5K race but because of her own mistake ended up running a whole 25K. Or what if I made a wrong turn and ended up in a "bad" neighborhood? What if it wasn't bad and I was just too shy or oxygen deprived to ask for help? What about starting out the race in the dark or "extreme" cold or heat?
With all of these questions lingering despite my re-checking of the Frequently Asked Questions section, I made a decision. My goal was to make sure that I followed the crowd in such a way that I would not lose my way. Surely over 100 or even a 1000 people would not make the wrong turns. However that meant that I may have to run at a pace that I was uncomfortable with or even dare I say walk like some others. Who would want to walk in a road race? Not that I thought any less of them, but I had trained and trained hard. Walking was "beneath" me unless I absolutely had to or so I thought. Maybe following the crowd was not a great idea, but what other choice was there?
With the races underway, I learned valuable lessons. At times I did find myself running alone, because I am more of a turtle than a hare when it comes to running. Walking wasn't a bad thing; it was self-preservation!! And ya know what? That's okay...'cause I was a part of something bigger than myself, walking or running with or without the crowd. And yes, there was plenty of help along the way... road signs galore allowing me to check off the mileage run and look forward to what lay ahead, arrows telling me where to turn and when, people offering encouragement through cheers along the sideleines or even with that needed cup of water or Gatorade, another runner to follow or keep pace with, maybe even someone to talk with a little to give us the nudge to keep it up or to discover how far they had come. By the time I could see the finish lines, I was trying to muster every ounce of energy I have left to finish strong-- pure adrenaline!! I learned also another valuable lesson-- though the finish line is up ahead, NEVER start trying to sprint before you can! There is not enough adrenaline in the world to keep up the pace for the distance you have to go. The eyes are deceiving sometimes. The finish line will not move, so BE PATIENT.
As I follow God, I know not the plans laid out for me. I do not know where my finish line is or even how far I need to run. I don't even know how much stamina I have to endure the obstacles that lay ahead. But these I do know... He doesn't let me run by myself; He has provided me with safety in my journey; He will direct each step I take; He will provide me with the nourishment and sustanence I need to endure; He has provided me with a map (His word) though the roads are still unknown; He has placed people in my life to cheer me on from the sidelines or even to run or walk alongside of me to help me keep my focus; the list goes on and on. What drives me to finishing this life race is knowing that someone else accomplished it first. Thank you, Jesus, for paving the way for me in this life race! You have made all of the challenges so much easier to face when I have you as my guide!
The sweetest thing about a road race for me is making it to that finish. To say that the race has been accomplished despite some trials in training or the fears of the unknown throughout the race is an AMAZING feat. What was cool about the finish at the Grand Rapids Half Marathon is that as I crossed the finish my name was announced and the race director was there to give me hand shake and congratulate me on my accomplishment. I can only imagine the greeting God (Christ) gives us at Heaven's gate as we mark the end of life race. Praise God as I cannot wait to fall into His arms with my race completed!
The directors promised lots of road signs (mile markers, arrows, even painted on trails if need be), countless spectators cheering me on and medical help should I need it. But I was still unsure... would it all be enough? All those things are well and good, but there is always a "mis-step". I read about a young woman once who signed up and trained to run in a 5K race but because of her own mistake ended up running a whole 25K. Or what if I made a wrong turn and ended up in a "bad" neighborhood? What if it wasn't bad and I was just too shy or oxygen deprived to ask for help? What about starting out the race in the dark or "extreme" cold or heat?
With all of these questions lingering despite my re-checking of the Frequently Asked Questions section, I made a decision. My goal was to make sure that I followed the crowd in such a way that I would not lose my way. Surely over 100 or even a 1000 people would not make the wrong turns. However that meant that I may have to run at a pace that I was uncomfortable with or even dare I say walk like some others. Who would want to walk in a road race? Not that I thought any less of them, but I had trained and trained hard. Walking was "beneath" me unless I absolutely had to or so I thought. Maybe following the crowd was not a great idea, but what other choice was there?
With the races underway, I learned valuable lessons. At times I did find myself running alone, because I am more of a turtle than a hare when it comes to running. Walking wasn't a bad thing; it was self-preservation!! And ya know what? That's okay...'cause I was a part of something bigger than myself, walking or running with or without the crowd. And yes, there was plenty of help along the way... road signs galore allowing me to check off the mileage run and look forward to what lay ahead, arrows telling me where to turn and when, people offering encouragement through cheers along the sideleines or even with that needed cup of water or Gatorade, another runner to follow or keep pace with, maybe even someone to talk with a little to give us the nudge to keep it up or to discover how far they had come. By the time I could see the finish lines, I was trying to muster every ounce of energy I have left to finish strong-- pure adrenaline!! I learned also another valuable lesson-- though the finish line is up ahead, NEVER start trying to sprint before you can! There is not enough adrenaline in the world to keep up the pace for the distance you have to go. The eyes are deceiving sometimes. The finish line will not move, so BE PATIENT.
As I follow God, I know not the plans laid out for me. I do not know where my finish line is or even how far I need to run. I don't even know how much stamina I have to endure the obstacles that lay ahead. But these I do know... He doesn't let me run by myself; He has provided me with safety in my journey; He will direct each step I take; He will provide me with the nourishment and sustanence I need to endure; He has provided me with a map (His word) though the roads are still unknown; He has placed people in my life to cheer me on from the sidelines or even to run or walk alongside of me to help me keep my focus; the list goes on and on. What drives me to finishing this life race is knowing that someone else accomplished it first. Thank you, Jesus, for paving the way for me in this life race! You have made all of the challenges so much easier to face when I have you as my guide!
The sweetest thing about a road race for me is making it to that finish. To say that the race has been accomplished despite some trials in training or the fears of the unknown throughout the race is an AMAZING feat. What was cool about the finish at the Grand Rapids Half Marathon is that as I crossed the finish my name was announced and the race director was there to give me hand shake and congratulate me on my accomplishment. I can only imagine the greeting God (Christ) gives us at Heaven's gate as we mark the end of life race. Praise God as I cannot wait to fall into His arms with my race completed!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A Life in Need of Change
One might wonder how or why this blog came to be. I think it is here I can put into words some of the things I think about... family and activities, my running and training, God... There is a strong part of me that wants to connect to God here and maybe even have others connect to God by reading this. And so I begin my quest... to do things because I "mean" them.
I ran my first half marathon last October. Not in record setting time by any means. My goal was to finish and run at least half of it. That was something MAJOR too for me as I did not run the whole week or more prior to the race due to pain in my legs while near the end of my training. My prayer had been that whole week I rested that I would be able run SOMETHING. And because I ran it on a Sunday, I also decided a number of weeks before that I wanted to "run with God." I wanted to sing praises while I ran. I wanted to pray while I ran. I wanted to just rest in God's arms for a time while I ran.
Boy... the run was ALL that and MORE! I don't think I have ever been that close to God. Yeah I have felt him move in my life before. I am pretty sure I have heard His quiet voice before. But there was just something about that day.. it was like I wasn't even troubled. I could have been running on the clouds for all I knew. I was utterly and completely at rest while running with God. I saw him in the world around me in ways I could never have enough words to explain. Fellow racers, the weather, the colors of the falling leaves (which I didn't realize made noise until that day; for a long while I expected some sort of animal to dart across my path) allowed me to REALLY see God for who he is and that EVERYTHING (including me) is truly in His hands. The devoting of myself to God within the context of running a race was life changing that day. It was an experience I would not mind repeating more often.
Boy... the run was ALL that and MORE! I don't think I have ever been that close to God. Yeah I have felt him move in my life before. I am pretty sure I have heard His quiet voice before. But there was just something about that day.. it was like I wasn't even troubled. I could have been running on the clouds for all I knew. I was utterly and completely at rest while running with God. I saw him in the world around me in ways I could never have enough words to explain. Fellow racers, the weather, the colors of the falling leaves (which I didn't realize made noise until that day; for a long while I expected some sort of animal to dart across my path) allowed me to REALLY see God for who he is and that EVERYTHING (including me) is truly in His hands. The devoting of myself to God within the context of running a race was life changing that day. It was an experience I would not mind repeating more often.
In receiving my training guide some weeks ago for Riverbank Run 2010, I was intrigued by this year's theme, "Run Like You Mean It". If one didn't want want to run, why bother with all of the training and pain and struggle that go with it? If one did not put into all the time, would the race be worth it all in the end? What does one run for? What's the purpose? I have had lots of reasons why I run-- health, be fit, lose weight.... the list goes on and on with much of the focus being on me. But last October I was able to alter my focus, not only on running but on my life in general.
But now it has hit me.. why do I do most of the things I do? Do I "work" for myself? my family? to be noticed (yeah, sometimes I am THAT vain)? Do I "mean" them? Do I "wife" or love David like I mean it? Do I mother and love my tribe like I mean it? What about my spiritual life? Do I pray, or devote myself to studying the Word, or tell others about God's love like I mean it? Do I put my whole heart into the things I do? It's time... here and NOW! And hopefully this blog will help me look at these "meanings" in a new and better way.
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