A Life in Need of Change

One might wonder how or why this blog came to be. I think it is here I can put into words some of the things I think about... family and activities, my running and training, God... There is a strong part of me that wants to connect to God here and maybe even have others connect to God by reading this. And so I begin my quest... to do things because I "mean" them.

I ran my first half marathon last October. Not in record setting time by any means. My goal was to finish and run at least half of it. That was something MAJOR too for me as I did not run the whole week or more prior to the race due to pain in my legs while near the end of my training. My prayer had been that whole week I rested that I would be able run SOMETHING. And because I ran it on a Sunday, I also decided a number of weeks before that I wanted to "run with God." I wanted to sing praises while I ran. I wanted to pray while I ran. I wanted to just rest in God's arms for a time while I ran.

Boy... the run was ALL that and MORE! I don't think I have ever been that close to God. Yeah I have felt him move in my life before. I am pretty sure I have heard His quiet voice before. But there was just something about that day.. it was like I wasn't even troubled. I could have been running on the clouds for all I knew. I was utterly and completely at rest while running with God. I saw him in the world around me in ways I could never have enough words to explain. Fellow racers, the weather, the colors of the falling leaves (which I didn't realize made noise until that day; for a long while I expected some sort of animal to dart across my path) allowed me to REALLY see God for who he is and that EVERYTHING (including me) is truly in His hands. The devoting of myself to God within the context of running a race was life changing that day. It was an experience I would not mind repeating more often.

In receiving my training guide some weeks ago for Riverbank Run 2010, I was intrigued by this year's theme, "Run Like You Mean It". If one didn't want want to run, why bother with all of the training and pain and struggle that go with it? If one did not put into all the time, would the race be worth it all in the end? What does one run for? What's the purpose? I have had lots of reasons why I run-- health, be fit, lose weight.... the list goes on and on with much of the focus being on me. But last October I was able to alter my focus, not only on running but on my life in general.

But now it has hit me.. why do I do most of the things I do? Do I "work" for myself? my family? to be noticed (yeah, sometimes I am THAT vain)? Do I "mean" them? Do I "wife" or love David like I mean it? Do I mother and love my tribe like I mean it? What about my spiritual life? Do I pray, or devote myself to studying the Word, or tell others about God's love like I mean it? Do I put my whole heart into the things I do? It's time... here and NOW! And hopefully this blog will help me look at these "meanings" in a new and better way.